I think we all can agree that 2017 was a little weird…and by a little weird I mean it was a cluster f*&k of loss and change we could have never imagined. But, I’m not getting into that. Instead, this article is about lessons I learned in 2017 and what I’m looking forward to in 2018. I’m talking candidly about dating as a 30something, the pressures of starting a family, and friendships. I’m also going to talk about the new direction I’m taking with my blog and how honesty has played a big role in the change I’ve experienced recently.
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Being a single girl in your 30s is frightening. On the one hand you have tons of freedom to pursue your career, go out whenever you want, and travel anytime the mood strikes you. That part is pretty awesome, actually. On the other hand, you fail to escape the ever present phantom ticking of the time bomb that is your ovaries and relentless rhetoric of heartless marrieds (and old people alike) who think that harvesting your eggs is a topic you like exploring on a regular basis.
The first person to ever suggest egg harvesting to me was Bravo’s 100th housewife, Mrs. Peggy Sulahian of the Real Housewives of Orange County. She casually threw that bomb at me the first time I met her which happened to be on my 34th birthday. My friends and I had just finished dinner at Pelican Grill at the Pelican Hill Resort, my favorite place in Orange County, when we ran into Peggy who at the time was living at the resort. We shared a casual conversation of no more than a few sentences where she asked how old I was and if I was single. The answer to which she responded “freeze your eggs honey” and then walked off as if she had just wished me a goodnight.
What being single in my 30s has taught me is that having an open mind and being flexible are critical to staying positive and moving ahead. I’ll be honest, I actually never thought I’d be married or have children before 35. I sort of loosely (and secretly) always subscribed to the Carrie Bradshaw mindset. So being single now isn’t the bother. The thought that having a family or finding your life partner may not shake out is what really torments the sub conscience.
Takeaway? Being single in your 30s is awesome, most of the time. It’s also kind of scary for someone who longs to start a family. I’ve seriously considered freezing my eggs for future use when I’m married, which in my initial research sounds crazy and expensive and something I never thought I’d need to think about. It’s still sort of a back burner problem I’m choosing not to worry about, just good to know science offers some options when I’m ready to worry about it.
The Friend Zone
One of the most valuable assets in life are the friendships that form your inner circle. I firmly believe that family and friends are the true measure of your success in life. These people are responsible for lifting you up when you’re down and standing by you through it all. Those you keep closest to you have the most influence in your life and therefore should reflect and reciprocate your belief systems. As I’ve grown I’ve come to realize that it’s less important to have a lot of friends and more important to have a few really great ones you can depend on when it matters. In 2018, I plan to deepen relationships with those I believe are true partners in crime and continue to keep my circle tight. Being honest with myself and honest with people around me about my intentions has already made a big difference in my life.
Dumped or Pumped?
I’m all about moving forward and keeping a positive mind, and to that end I’ve had to say goodbye to a few negative influences from 2017. Likewise, I’m pumping myself up for things that will help me achieve my goals in 2018. Here’s the hit list:
- Answering questions about my fertility future
- Feeling bad about not getting into online dating (there’s got to be a better way people!)
- Toxic friendships
- Negative self talk (you’re awesome – you should remind yourself of that fact often)
- Time wasters (this includes people who don’t respect my time, apps/games that end up being more of a time suck than anything else, and habits that don’t positively influence my life)
- Commitment to working out
- Commitment to fostering more meaningful friendships
- Commitment to advancing my career
- Commitment to continuing to put energy into my blog (which brings me joy)
- Commitment to allowing myself to just live and enjoy life without worrying about everything so much
New Vision, Who Dis?
As most of you already know, I started my blog a couple of years ago when I was going through a really dark time in my life. I was leaving an abusive relationship, starting a new job, and moving into a new place all while mending a broken heart. Getting divorced was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It was gut punching, heart wrenching, torture. It’s been over two full years since the divorce was finalized and over three years since I officially left that life behind and I’m happy to report that I’m almost back to normal. JUST KIDDING. You never go back to normal! Ha! But, seriously I’m in a much better place now than I ever was and I’m even stronger now than I was before, and in a weird way I’m thankful for the experience.
In 2018 I plan to bring more “un-pretty” truths to my blog. I’m excited to continue to share my journey as a single, 30something girl with you and that means shedding more light on the things that I’m dealing with on a daily basis. Being honest with myself about my strengths and weaknesses and exploring that with openness feels liberating. In fact, it’s something I want to see more of in the new year from those I follow. For now, here is a list of what I am bringing to Love La Vie Daily this year:
- Getting in Shape
- Fashion Trends That Work For My Body Type
- Dating Diary
- Feeding My Mind
- Reinventing Myself
It’s all in the works and I’m very excited to share it all with you! Please stay tuned, I hope you’ll journey with me. I want my blog to spawn more of a conversation than occupy space in the visual. Feel free to comment here or on my social platforms. I want to hear about you and how my experiences resonate (or don’t) with you!
Thank you so much for your love and continued support through my blogging adventures. I so much appreciate every like, comment, and follow. I hope to hear more from you in 2018!
Have a wonderful new year!